The ultimate anger management hack.
Anger is by far the most disapproved of emotion. We judge others and ourselves for having experienced anger. This isn't surprising since anger is notorious for creating conflict. However, what if I told you there is actually a very pure, supportive and amazing application for anger?
When we imagine the physical sensation of anger, it feels like fire. It feels aggressive and out of control as it clashes with anything in its path. We are taught to think that destruction is bad and serves no good purpose. But destruction is necessary to bring an end to things that are no longer needed.
Anger can be compared to forest fires. It can be purifying. Forest fires destroy so that the ecosystem in an area is restored. Using this metaphor we can approach anger as an internal forest fire to purify our internal state.
Anger rescues us from the feeling of powerlessness. Anger can be a burning fire of fuel to drive forward to take your power back. Anger indicates a choice we can make for ourselves. Even though anger is a valuable self-preservation instinct that calls for empowering yourself and to make a conscious decision, we don't see it that way. We meet it with disapproval. We’ve been hypnotised by the idea that anger is so wrong. So our immediate reaction is to be afraid of it, suppress or do anything we can do to get rid of it.
Here is the thing; anger’s purpose is to create a separation between us and things that threaten us. So what can we do with it that's so revitalising and amazing for us ? Do the opposite of what we would normally do with anger. We do not try to get rid of it. We don't try to downplay it. And we don’t take it out on something innocent externally. Instead, we go somewhere quiet and we close our eyes and we invite our anger to become an internal forest fire that burns everything internally. We invite it to get rid of anything we don’t want anymore so that we are internally ‘purified’ to start over totally fresh from the ashes.
For example, if we get fired from a job its natural to feel grief and resentment. We can sit down when we hit this phase and close our eyes. We can observe the physical and emotional qualities of the fire within us. We can contain and control it to do things for us to move us forward. We can even play music that helps it burn more aggressively.
In this way we can use it to burn our shame in the situation, or we can melt away the fear we have of our future after being fired. We can see it searing and healing the emotional wounds we had. You can see it torching up old patterns, thoughts and beliefs that are damaging to us relative to the event.
So there you have it, a fantastic tool to utilise your anger into a process of 'internal emotional cleansing' of the old to make room for the new, more desirable state.
I'm curios, what negative messages and ideas have you been given about anger? What was your families response to anger growing up? Try this technique and let us know what you think!